Occasionally I go on trips. Yes, I would consider myself an fairly seasoned traveler. I like to go on vacation. . . in fact, that's the preferred way to spend my money. So, why I felt like I needed to qualify this blog by giving you my traveling background, I don't know EXCEPT for the fact that I do know what I'm talking about when it comes to my favorite pastime.
Yesterday, I went on a quick jaunt to San Diego. For fun? Nope. For work. If I go to San Diego on my own dime, you better believe I wouldn't stay for only a day. I love it so much that I may go and stay for life!
Anyway, occasionally, I go on these day trips for my job that allow me to go to really exotic places like sunny So. Cal. Because it's a day trip and we are on a strict airport (really early) to rental car to meeting to rental car to airport (usually late) kind of schedule, I will admit that my sensitivity to daily annoyances could be heightened. OR, maybe there is a really large number of daily annoyances that happen to occur within the confines of a puddle-jumper? I don't really know. . . either way, you can see where I'm going. . .man, was I annoyed!
So, in the spirit of lists, I'm going to tell you about my trip by explaining the very things that bug me about people when I travel. Yes, all of these did in fact happen to me and my traveling cohort Lindsay a mere 24 hours ago. Here we go. . .
1. Security. Have people never been through security before because I thought it was a pretty common practice? Please don't put each item that you are carrying in an individual bucket. There is no need. That big machine actually does x-ray. It can see through your coat. Also, that belt buckle will go off in the metal detector just like it did last time because it's metal. If you are going through a metal detector and it beeps at you, please take all pieces of metal off your person rather than taking one off at a time and thinking to yourself 'Hmmm. . . I wonder if that's the one that set it off?' and continuing to test your theory until at last, you find the culprit.
2. Looking for your row. This could be the kicker for me and I know you have all seen it - those people that start walking down the aisle of the plane feeling so lost that they have this look on their face like they are hunting for quality clothing at Wal-Mart. You can hear their monologue just by looking at them. . .'Where is that darn seat of mine? I just can't seem to locate it. I know, I'll look at every one of these numbers until I see my row. . .' Call me crazy but the rows are in order - always have been and always will be. If your ticket reads 17c and you are just getting on the plane, please note that you have 17 rows to go until you find your seat. Do not stop at each row and examine it like all of a sudden you'll see your chair hiding in row 5. That little sign will NOT change to say 5a, 5b, 17c and 5d. I'll bet my paycheck on that.
3. The steward(ess)'s response to the afore-mentioned wanderer. When a person looks that confused, they deserve to worry about where their seat is located on their own. Please don't ask them what they are looking for because then you will deserve an answer like 'My pet rat.' What do you think they are looking for? Don't ask. And, should you need to give them directions to their numbered seat, don't start them with 'Go straight down the aisle. . ' If I were a stewardess, I would say 'Go left two chairs and then back 6 and then crawl over that bald guy and. . ' Don't 'help' the situation by playing captain obvious. '16 comes after 17 and before 18. . .'
4. Local time. So, you can serve peanuts but not tell time? I get it. Twice (I am not kidding - this happened at the end of BOTH of our flights) the stewardess didn't know how to tell time. A story problem, if you will. . . There was a 1 hour time change from here to Cali. It was 7:50 here when we landed in Cali. What time would it be in California? What? The answer is not 9:50? I'm shocked. You can do that little exercise backwards as well to figure out what our flight home was like.
5. Babies. I love babies - they are adorable and cuddly and sweet. . . when they are sleeping on a plane. Luckily, the baby that was directly behind be only started kicking my chair the last 10 minutes of the flight so it wasn't that bad. What got me was the crazy old lady sitting next to the dad with the baby. Apparently, she loves babies too and she likes to make these horrible noises to communicate with them. I can take the high-pitched baby talk, no problem. But, this lady decided to make this ticking noise that sounded like a chipmunk going to town on an acorn. Over and over she ticked at this poor baby. At that point, I almost wanted to cry like a baby until someone let me out.
6. Getting hit in the head with some guys large and in charge suitcase and having him look at you like you are in the way for being in your seat. Ok, this isn't a regular annoyance but it hurt so I had to include it.
7. Door rushers. Last but not least. . . those people that get up as soon as the plane stops and rush to the front so that they can be the first one off. Obviously, there time is more valuable than anyone else's. I am yet to see the airline that ranks your disembarking privledges based on importance. There are only two reasons why you should be able to run off a plane - the first doesn't apply to men and should only be used as an excuse if you have (as my friend Rachel says) 'a total disaster.' The second doesn't happen on a plane because all they serve you are crackers and peanuts and neither of those can do that kind of damage. SO, sit down and wait your turn.
Wow, I needed to get that out. I hope that those of you that travel will pay attention to these simple courtesies and be mindful that YOU may be the culprit. Happy Trails. . .
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