Monday, September 22, 2008

Picky, Picky. . .

"Hello Again!" (Good movie. . . any of you that have seen it realize Shelley Long's acting prowess in said movie and for those of you who haven't but do love shows like Cheers and movies like The Money Pit, check it out - she's just as zany!) SO it's been a few weeks but I have a valid excuse this time because things have been busier than ever! I just moved into a new house (Sidenote: blog and pics to come but I haven't been able to take pictures of said house yet because there are still boxes!!! I'll get there though, I swear. . . by the moon and the stars in the sky. . . I'll be there. . . I mean I swear I'll take pictures and post them!) so things have been crazy with packing and cleaning and closing, oh my!
Also, before I go any further I have to draw your attention to a new blog that's linked on What in the Heck was I Thinking? It's Dall and Sar's blog (my fam) and you can clearly see that I have what can only be thought of as the cutest niece ever. I'm only sending you away from my blog so you ca see her cute face. I hope she knows how much I love her by this simple act!! OK, go. . . go on. . . go look. . . but come back because I have so stuff to talk about!!
There. . . wasn't she so adorable? Just as a sidenote, she loves JT and tries drinking out of big kid cups (picture on the blog of that too!) and that makes me extra proud.
OK, so the name of this blog is "Picky, Picky. . " and I bet you are wondering why. If you aren't, go ahead and stop reading because I'm about to tell you:
There are a few things in life that are a "must" for me. First, I must have a clean bathroom. Hygiene is important, especially in the place where you are performing hygiene! I like a nice, hot shower and a toilet which is why I don't do well on things like Pioneer Trek where outhouses are a staple and you can shower if you wash your head under a cooler faucet! Second, don't ever mess with my bed so that it delays my sleeping. A person's bed is a sanctuary that should not be violated in even the most extreme circumstances. I love jokes but putting stuff in a person's bed that takes time to clean or dry or whatever is not a joke, it's uncalled for. So for those friends in close proximity that have some access to my bed on occasion that think it would "be funny to see what she does. . ." I'll stop you right now and tell you it's not funny. I won't laugh, I'll get angry. Unless you short-sheet my bed and that's kind of funny. (thanks mom and dad for teaching me such tricks!). Third, don't cost me unnecessary money or time. If I loose money or time (which really are the same because we all know. . . TIME IS MONEY!! Hahahaha, couldn't resist that cliche!) because you do something stupid, I will not be OK with that. I know that sounds uncommon but think about it. . . seriously. Happens all the time.
Anything beyond those three things are pretty much fair game because I think that common sense should rule and reign at that point. Sidenote: common sense should really rule and reign BEFORE the time and money thing but I'm throwing that out there as a freebie in-case your meter isn't working!
I guess my point is that I don't require much so when I get disappointed, I really get hosed. Some of the weirdest and most frustrating things happen and I wonder what kind of giggle fate is getting at my expense. Am I harder to please than most people? Maybe. . . but I don't think so. You tell me if these wouldn't "tweak your melon"! (Name that movie and I'll buy you an ice cream or something!)
One morning I was running late leaving the house (as usual) and I didn't have time to grab a granola bar. So, upon arriving at work completely famished (OK, maybe a bit of an exaggeration), I decided to make my way to the vending machine to purchase a Pop-Tart. I was setting myself up for the fact that it would be Strawberry because that's what always happens to me - the brown sugar one is one 75 cent purchase back but I can't bring myself to purchase two packs of Pop-Tarts so I have to settle for the front-of-the-vending-line strawberry. Well, to no surprise, "strawberry fields forever. . . ." no brown sugar in site. So, that morning, against better judgment, I took a stand against the vending machine hoaxes and decided not to purchase the tarts, not today. I was going to live dangerously and opted for trail mix instead. I was feeling pretty good about my decision as I made my way back to my desk. I cracked open my mix and took out an M&M and popped it in. Delish! Dually noting my satisfaction, I dumped a little of the trail mix into my hand, ready to partake. As I looked down to snag a raisin, I gasped in horror at what I saw. That's right folks, my trail mix must have come STRAIGHT off the trail because there was a big ol' hairball in my trail mix!
After nearly convulsing to death and swearing off vending machine trail mix forever, I composed myself enough to write a letter to the company to file a former complaint. That's right, I did! I was so disgusted and I let the company know that I had Gephardt on speed dial so they better return my email. Who finds a hairball in pre-packaged food???? Crimanetly (that's my new word lately, you like?)!!! So, I waited. . .
After about a week I got some canned crap email about "thank you for submitting your inquiry. . ." and just as I was getting fired up about getting a general response, I saw a personal note that went something like this: 'Carlee, Sorry about the hair in your trail mix. That's gross. Send it in and we'll look at it and see what happened. Oh, and we'll send you more trail mix. Love, The Trail Mix People".
WHAAAT!?! Not only was that pretty "whatevs" about the whole situation but MORE TRAIL MIX? I'm pretty sure the last compensation I want for puking up trail mix is more trail mix. PAAAllllleeeease!
I know you are probably thinking "Who would save hair-infested trail mix for a week to send back in?" That's right, I would! So, I packaged it up with a little note that said "Don't bother about the replacement. Probably won't eat it again. So gross. I'm telling everyone. Love, The Almost Hair Eater".
Time that it took to write the letters, package the stuff and mail it back in: 20 min. Cost of postage: $1.00. Cost of Trail Mix: 75 cents. Telling anyone who will read my blog about hair in vending machine trail mix: Priceless.
I just couldn't let it go! I know, shocker.