Dear Super-Fast Phone Number Guy,
Thanks for leaving a message on my machine. I got most of it, except that pesky phone number part.
You see, you spoke very clearly throughout most of the message, enunciating your words and using impressive vocabulary. That is until you asked me to call you back "ASAP" (which, just as a sidenote, is generally considered the "urgent red flag" of the phone world) and then rattled off your phone number like you were Tom Cruise diffusing a bomb; all I actually heard was 415-shma-shmeeeeh-smah-extension smeh-smah-2. While it was impressive that you have your phone number THAT memorized, I don't. If I tried to dial that number, I am as likely to reach you as I am to order some delicious Chinese takeout in your same area code.
In the future, if you really need me to call you back "ASAP", hurry up your message and use the two seconds that you shaved off to actually tell me your phone number at a speed that I might be able to dictate. I'm not a court reporter, man. I'm a girl with a pen that occasionally needs a scribble to get moving. Breathe your way through that phone number part and I promise you, I'll call you back next time.
Don't feel sad. Your friend, The 10 min Message Guy who Didn't Bother to Leave a Phone Number After all of That!, is getting his letter as we speak.
Sincerely,
The Girl with Too Many Messages
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