Stay with me as I make my point, please. Don't bail out half way through this one because I don't need you parading around saying that I'm a heartless crazy. (Unless you were doing that before this blog post then, proceed). I'm hoping we can start a good discussion about this so if you have information that I may "clearly" not be aware of, make it known in the comments. I'd really like to better understand this topic. So obviously the best way to do that is to blog about it first, right?
I'm at a point in my life where I am, as people would say, "not getting any younger." My clock is ticking and prime time is coming to an end and all of those other cliche comments about the female reproductive system are rearing their ugly and only partially-accurate heads. I'm not ancient, but I'm not that spring chicken that everyone references when it comes to talking about having babies.
That said, I'm also not planning on having a baby tomorrow (a biological impossibility) but hopefully, sometime in the not-so-distant future a little one will grace our home we'll have the family we've always hoped for.
So, I think this is clear but in case it isn't: babies are on the brain. Right now, all of them are cute, all of them are fun, all of them scream ridiculously loud! (Isn't it funny how you really start to notice that when you're thinking about having one in your house? It's like noticing how much puppies pee the second you decide to get one! Crazy!)
As we've been thinking and talking of kids, we've (like most people) started thinking about all of our child-having options. We're hip. We're "with it". We realize that not all babies come into a family the same way. So our discussions always, of course, include adoption. As I've looked around and read a little (I can't emphasize the LITTLE part of that enough - I'm no expert), one thing continues to come to mind: Why is it so dang difficult. . . expensive. . . difficult??
I'm a strong advocate of adoption for two very important reasons; two of the brightest spots in my life were adopted by my brother and sister-in-law and I couldn't imagine our family without them. Dallas and Sarah did what so many are desperate to do - bring two incredible and smart kids into their home and offer them a life they wouldn't have had otherwise. I watch these kids and see the lives that they are being provided in a loving, caring environment and my heart jumps into my throat! I'm so grateful for my fam and for the mothers of these incredible kiddos for giving them the opportunities that they might not have had otherwise. My gratitude knows no limits.
While my exposure is limited to my sphere, I have seen enough to know that there are a lot of kids that aren't as lucky - they don't have moms that are thinking about their futures and decide to place them in homes where they can flourish. There are thousands of kids out there without moms and dads, without homes and without choices. These kids (sometimes multiple siblings at a time) are abandoned or parent-less for a variety of reasons and still, desperately, need homes just like their counterparts.
So I know you're thinking "Car, I know why adoption exists. . . I didn't come here for that." I know. I'm painting a picture - some would say for dramatic effect, I say because I don't know any better.
Here is my point: Why, with thousands of kids in this predicament from all over the world and hundreds of good families willing to give at least some of them homes, is it so hard to make the two sides pair up? I know families that have been on lists for YEARS waiting to be able to adopt a child and I also know that there are thousands of kids that need good homes - need, supply, need, supply. This system isn't meeting the basic economic formula!
In addition to the time these people are waiting to be found, the expense associated with processing fees alone is enough to put a person into years of debt - that's before you even start clothing, feeding and providing shelter for these little faces. In addition to that you have multiple week-long trips abroad (if applicable, of course. Don't go buying a ticket to Guam if you are wanting to adopt in Kansas - that's just silly.) to sit in a hotel room and wait. . . the list could go on.
I'm not naive. I know that work costs money - I work at an ad agency for goodness sake and we bill by the hour; adoption takes work, and rightfully so. But I look at the expenses associated with these adoption services (which can vary greatly by country, by the way, which confuses me even more) and I wonder how families can afford time and time again to pay these astronomical fees that can go toe-to-toe with a down payment on a large house.
Should the adoption agencies continue to do thorough background checks on people submitting for adoption? Yes. Should they be able to prove that they will provide adequate love, living space and life to these kids? Absolutely. Visas, legal fees, transportation, all of it costs and I can't imagine that any of those things could or should be cut out of the process but I also wonder how many more families would get involved in this incredible process if it weren't so intimidating??
I know that there isn't an adoptive parent out there that wouldn't do it again and I'm positive that every kid has been worth every penny that's needed to change hands and every hour sitting in a hotel room. At this point, I've only reaped the benefits of the system in my niece and nephew, without any of the work. I may need a navigation lesson, I suppose. Or a ticket to Guam?
